Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Nursery Fads I Just Don't Get

There are three current trends in nursery decor that I just don't get. Putting aside the fact that "fashionable" nurseries are starting to look way too sophisticated for the baby they're supposed to be housing, there are many questionable choices I've seen floating around the interwebz when it comes to baby's room. I'm not talking about penant banners, which are just simply not my taste. I'm talking about total WTF's: Ugly things and potentially "I-see-therapy-in-your-child's-future" things.

  1. There's just something grim about hanging stuffed animal "hunting trophies" in your newborn's room. For example, how fucking terrifying is this?! Now, that obviously belongs on CraftFail, but even "cutesy" versions are slightly disturbed (PS. The link source to that is actually another blogger's disbelief at these things, so I'm not alone in this!). It's not even limited to stuffed animals: Does this not look like the most adorable case of a nursery possessed by some dimensional warp, where this child's My Little Ponies have become stuck between worlds? OK, that last one is likely just my disturbed imagination, but it's still creepy. However I admit that as a girly, yet morbid, young adult I'd love to have these in my room. I could see a teenage daughter (or son; I'm open minded) having a fascination with them, but that's about the only possible use I could see for these abominations.
  2. Baby chandeliers? Baby...chandeliers?! Why, oh why, does your child need a chandelier in his/her room? I understand that the mini chandelier is kind of cute; what I don't get is why a baby needs one. My darling princess doesn't get to have a freakin chandelier in her room until I have at least two in mine! I sort of see how there's potential for it to be visually stimulating when the crystals (on your baby's chandelier) reflect the sunlight...or some other bullshit. We're talking a chandelier...for a baby. Cute, but way over the top, and I'm seeing them everywhere!
  3. Those shower-pouf-ish pom-poms. I'm hoping that these started off as one mom's attempt to recreate a cloud over her baby's crib. That's understandable and somewhat adorable; but, again, I'm seeing these things everywhere, and I'm just not getting it. They're downright ugly, and seriously, there's not much difference between this and this.
Yeah, maybe I'm just out of touch with modern decor. Then again; baby hunting trophies!